Selective Memory

Here’s the thing — I was digging into my past online, via livejournal. Before social media, before we livestreamed ourselves putting on makeup, before we were texting, there was livejournal. As a writer, this form of daily writing allowed me to connect with others, folks who I would come to know very well without ever meeting them face-to-face. I read about deaths and births and breakups and looked at wedding pictures.

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In Sickness and In Health

Let’s take a moment to talk about health. As we graciously say, “to a healthy and happy new year,” implying that happiness and health are interconnected. Be well. Be best. Let’s talk about what it means when we are not well. Let’s talk about the difficulty of operating in this society when sick. 

I have been consumed with health problems recently and am amazed at how it alters my life, my notions of time and space. How we operate in a fast pace in the healthy lane and then we are struck with illness, we can enter a whole new world. 

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Take it to 43

this reindeer has a complex backstory and loves you.
Hello hello,
I have been out of the loop or rather too much in it to think about communicating via my lovely little letters. Here’s the thing, I’m 43 now. Usually I do birthday resolutions and I haven’t in a long while but I thought maybe today I would just word vomit some out. But then, sitting here, I came to realize that for the first time I am not really aching and not really wanting to make profound announcements of what I should do.

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A burden of sleeplessness

In which I can’t stop dreaming

Dear Dears,

I asked Patrick last night when I would stop dreaming of moving and packing. Maybe when we buy our first home? And he said, Most likely not. Which while disappointing, I realized was most likely the truth. My feelings of rootlessness and abandonment have nothing to do with where I am currently living. It’s a constant theme of my life: trying to make a presence for my body and for my beliefs.

It is fitting that my poems right now are about place and dreams and not leaving places when I was totally uncomfortable because I wanted to be nice. Continue reading “A burden of sleeplessness”